I Do NOT

My mom ripped a page from some tacky catalog she found that had these horrible bride and groom baseball hats so we could have a good laugh about them. The bride's cap was decorated with silk roses and enough tulle to gag a small pony. The groom's hat involved some "clever" ball-and-chain ornament. I tried desperately to google a picture of this abomination for y'all, but to no avail. Unfortunately, while I do enjoy staring at these items in the way one might enjoy attending the freak show at the state fair, I have kind of a "so funny I forgot to laugh" bad attitude about this kind of stuff. I mean, instead of taking it in stride as evidence that some people are just infinitely competent in showcasing their bad taste, I have to get all bent out of shape about it. Sorry, I am kind of hung up on the whole not making stupid misogynist/racist/bigoted comments. I'm not much of a good sport about it at all. With that said, my diatribe awaits.

I don't think I'm the kind of person who can't take a joke, but I don't think marriage IS a joke. Nor do I find sexist stereotypes to be funny. So when I see apparently humorous novelties like these:



I don't think--"Gee, marriage is going to be one good-naturedly funny moment after the other! I (heart) gendered ribbing!" Something more along the lines of "Gee this allegedly playful battle of the sexes and perpetuation of annoying stereotypes projected onto a sacred lifetime commitment is tiresome and oppressive."

No, seriously. This is the caption with those pillowcases. Go to sleep every night knowing your role in the marriage with this Mr. Right, Mrs. Always Right set of 2 pillowcases.

Oh well, just hose everything down in tulle and re-invest your life savings in rose petals and everything will be all right, right? Grr.

And since I'm already putting quite a fine point on it--what were they thinking by putting the seams of both pillowcases to the right? Everyone is sleeping on the same side of the bed? Well, bless you for being ecumenical in some way, but if you're going to assign gender roles willynilly, is it too much to ask that the seams go on the outside? Hrmph.

Wish you were here (to lower my blood pressure with your famous company),
Wed Dog